Can we talk about body changes?

My body has always changed along with my life. When I started university I joined the dance club and learned to dance salsa. This became a huge part of my life, I performed and taught. I also realised it really helped with my joint pain from hypermobility. Then when I moved to the UK I didn't really find my scene here. The pain rose up again until I had physio on the NHS and learned to manage it through exercise. I could even start running. My body got lean and strong. Around the same time, I was diagnosed with MS. Looking after my body became more important - it helped that I was already exercising and eating well. The pandemic then home and job changes derailed things a bit. My last marathon was an ultra I ran in April last year. There is a gym under my new office so I've been going to lifting classes there and enjoying them (I'm the one complaining all the way through then saying "that was great!" at the end). I have a foot injury and can't manage the distances I used to without pain. It's nice to feel stronger from the gym but my clothes have been getting tighter! I like my clothes and can't afford new ones. I think I'll also be weighed at my hospital appointment next month. I'm on a medication that is taken in two courses, a year apart. The number of pills I have to take will depend on my weight. I can save the NHS literally thousands if I can lose just over a kilo by the time they weigh me, to get back to the weight I was when I started the medication last year. I've managed to re-establish more of a routine recently where I'm not overdoing it but I am showing up. It has tipped the balance and I seem to have gone from gradually gaining weight to gradually losing it. I've really struggled to run in the heatwaves (heat and MS are not friends) but little and often, and making it along to running groups (including the one I lead) has helped. On the advice of my podiatrist I've also been cycling and swimming more. I'm swimming in the reservoir, at the moment more showing up than really getting the distance in, but it's about establishing the habit.

Since the age of 13 I have been dealing with weight issues. I'm a well seasoned yo-yo Dieter, always trying to be the smallest version of myself. Something in my mind changed after being diagnosed with leukaemia last year. I still struggle when I look at my reflection and do not recognise myself anymore. It's triggering to say the least. However, it has taught me to be kinder to myself. I congratulate my body for fighting hard to get me into remission, and I work daily on becoming stronger, not thinner. Also, thank you for posting aubergine recipes, I'm making one tomorrow for a BBQ 😊 xxx